Becoming a mum is one of life’s most extraordinary, emotional, and life-altering experiences. But here’s the truth very few people talk about: for many women, the postnatal period is also one of the most overwhelming, exhausting, and isolating times they will ever face. In my years of providing doula care and postnatal support for families across the UK – and having spent a great deal of time working in and around the NHS – I’ve seen it time and time again. Women spend months preparing for labour and delivery, but very little attention is paid to what comes after. The sleepless nights. The feeding worries. The emotional ups and downs. The relentless demands, the identity shifts, the questions that strike at 2am. And amidst all of this, one thing comes up again and again when I speak to mums in those early weeks: “I just wish I’d had more help.”

When people think about postnatal help, they often picture grandparents or friends popping over with casseroles. And yes, that can be lovely. But practical and emotional postnatal support goes much deeper than that. It’s having someone who knows what they’re doing. Someone who listens without judgement. Someone who won’t say “just sleep when the baby sleeps” and then disappear. A doula offers that kind of care. One-to-one, evidence-based, experience-backed support that meets you exactly where you are, however you’re feeling.

Why the Postnatal Period Is So Overlooked

In the UK, our maternity system is stretched. NHS midwives and health visitors do an incredible job, but they are under immense pressure and often unable to spend the time they’d like with each family. According to the Royal College of Midwives, the NHS in England alone is short of around 2,500 midwives. That’s a staggering number. What that means in real terms is new parents getting rushed check-ins, inconsistent advice, and feeling left to fend for themselves during one of the most vulnerable stages of their lives.

This lack of continuity and time has a knock-on effect on mental health and wellbeing. The NHS Long Term Plan has identified that one in four women will experience mental health difficulties during pregnancy or after birth. That’s not a small figure. And yet, many mums feel unable to ask for help, fearing judgement, or assuming that what they’re feeling is “just part of being a new mum”.

As someone who has supported women through the fourth trimester for over a decade, I can tell you with absolute certainty: the support you receive in those first days and weeks can have a lasting impact on your recovery, your confidence, and your overall experience of motherhood.

What Exactly Does a Postnatal Doula Do?

A doula isn’t a midwife or health visitor – we’re not there to give medical advice or replace NHS services. We work alongside them. Think of us as your calm, experienced right-hand person during the whirlwind of new motherhood. My role as a postnatal doula varies from family to family, but here are just a few of the things I offer:

  • Emotional support: Someone to talk to about the birth, about how you’re feeling, about anything at all. No judgement, no pressure.
  • Practical help: Light housework, helping with older children, running errands, preparing snacks or meals.
  • Infant care guidance: Support with feeding (breast or bottle), winding, bathing, settling, and general newborn care.
  • Recovery support: Tips for physical recovery, reminders to eat and rest, guidance on what’s normal and when to seek help.
  • Partner support: Helping partners feel included, confident, and informed.

The beauty of doula care is that it’s flexible. Whether you need someone in the mornings so you can rest, or in the evenings when the “witching hour” hits, I tailor my support around you.

Why This Kind of Support Makes Such a Difference

Over the years, I’ve had countless mums tell me that having a doula was the best decision they made post-birth. Not because I waved a magic wand and made everything perfect. But because I was there. Because they didn’t have to struggle alone.

Let’s talk about what happens when you do have that kind of postnatal support in place:

  • You’re more likely to get proper rest because someone is helping you prioritise your recovery.
  • You feel heard and validated, instead of dismissed or told to “enjoy every minute”.
  • You’re less anxious, because you’ve got someone gently guiding you through the unknowns.
  • Your partner can breathe a little easier, knowing that someone experienced is walking alongside you both.

A study published in the Journal of Perinatal Education found that families who used a doula experienced lower rates of postpartum depression and increased breastfeeding success. It’s not just about having help – it’s about having informed, consistent, and caring help.

What Most Mums Don’t Realise Until It’s Too Late

The reason this blog post exists is simple: I want you to know what’s available. I’ve had mums reach out to me months after giving birth, saying they wish they’d known that doula support was a thing. Or that they thought they weren’t “allowed” to ask for help unless something was wrong. But you don’t have to be struggling to deserve support. You don’t need a medical reason to bring in someone who can make your life that little bit easier. In fact, the earlier you put that support in place, the better.

I often get involved while parents are still pregnant, helping them prepare for what life might look like after birth. But I also regularly begin working with families in the first week home, or even a few weeks in, when the sleep deprivation and emotional load start to build. There is no wrong time to ask for postnatal help.

Real Life Scenarios

Here are a couple of very real, very common examples from my own doula practice:

  • A first-time mum recovering from a tough birth who just needed someone to hold the baby so she could eat a hot meal, have a shower, and sleep without worrying.
  • A couple with no family nearby, navigating cluster feeding, nappies, and Google-induced anxiety at 3am. My calm presence meant reassurance, not panic.
  • A mum of three who felt she “should know what she’s doing by now” but needed a safe space to talk through her emotions, her tears, and her guilt without being told to “pull herself together”.

These aren’t dramatic or unusual stories. They’re just real parents needing real support – the kind that doulas are trained and ready to offer.

The Bottom Line

Having a baby is life-changing, but you shouldn’t have to navigate it alone. Postnatal support can be the difference between feeling like you’re just surviving and actually enjoying moments of those early days. Whether it’s hands-on help, a listening ear, or simply someone who sees you, not just the baby – that’s what doula care is all about.

And it’s okay to want that. It’s okay to plan for it. In fact, it’s one of the most caring things you can do for yourself and your family.

So, if you’re currently expecting, or in the thick of the fourth trimester and wondering if things could feel even slightly more manageable, reach out. You’re not failing by needing help. You’re just human. And you deserve care, too.

If you’d like to learn more about how I work or enquire about availability, visit Postnatal Helping Hands and get in touch. I’m here to help.